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Jun. 14th, 2004 02:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
callie_chanThis was a real conversation that my family indulged in over dinner. (Which was nothing spectacular, by the way.)
Mom: You need new shoes.
Me: No I don't. These things are fine. [referring to woven leather clog things that, truth be told, are slowly unraveling around my feet]
Mom: No they're not. You need some nice sandals.
Me: [whining] I don't like sandals. They flop.
Mom: Only if they don't have backs.
Me: Well, I don't wear the ones with backs. Remember what happened when I wore those shoes with backs to graduation? They ate my feet. I had blood all over my stockings and everything.
Mom: [randomly changing tactics] We should get you some sandals too. [referring to my brother]
Brother: [gets bunches of frequent flyer miles for being a BILLION MILES AWAY up until this moment] Buh?
Mom: You. Sandals.
Brother: I don't like sandals.
Mom: Why not? You should let your feet breathe.
Me: Evidently you haven't smelled them recently.
Brother: I just don't like sandals, okay? Stupid newfangled things.
Me: ...newfangled? Child, sandals have been around since before you were born.
Brother: Yeah, well--
Mom: Jesus wore sandals.
Brother: [sputters]
Me: Two thousand years ago!
Brother: [has lost, but refuses to acknowledge] They're newfangled in cat years.
Me: ...
Mom: ...
Brother: ...
Dad: Is anybody going to eat this damn cornbread?
Cat: [decides to make off with a pork cutlet]
Chaos: [ensues]
My family, folks. No punchline necessary.
On a different but still amusing note, I was in the bathroom up at [College] the other day when I overheard two women talking. They were discussing clavicles and other anatomical things, so I assumed they were med students. And just when I was thinking 'it's nice to hear intellectual discussion in a bathroom for once, so much nicer than high school bathrooms', one of the women bursts out.
"I want to kill the people who clean this bathroom! They always put the toilet paper on upside down!"
Sadly, I had no desk, so I was forced to whack my head against the stall door. I'd point out the several points of lunacy inherent within that statement, but I think I'll let you all find them for yourselves.
-Callisto
Mom: You need new shoes.
Me: No I don't. These things are fine. [referring to woven leather clog things that, truth be told, are slowly unraveling around my feet]
Mom: No they're not. You need some nice sandals.
Me: [whining] I don't like sandals. They flop.
Mom: Only if they don't have backs.
Me: Well, I don't wear the ones with backs. Remember what happened when I wore those shoes with backs to graduation? They ate my feet. I had blood all over my stockings and everything.
Mom: [randomly changing tactics] We should get you some sandals too. [referring to my brother]
Brother: [gets bunches of frequent flyer miles for being a BILLION MILES AWAY up until this moment] Buh?
Mom: You. Sandals.
Brother: I don't like sandals.
Mom: Why not? You should let your feet breathe.
Me: Evidently you haven't smelled them recently.
Brother: I just don't like sandals, okay? Stupid newfangled things.
Me: ...newfangled? Child, sandals have been around since before you were born.
Brother: Yeah, well--
Mom: Jesus wore sandals.
Brother: [sputters]
Me: Two thousand years ago!
Brother: [has lost, but refuses to acknowledge] They're newfangled in cat years.
Me: ...
Mom: ...
Brother: ...
Dad: Is anybody going to eat this damn cornbread?
Cat: [decides to make off with a pork cutlet]
Chaos: [ensues]
My family, folks. No punchline necessary.
On a different but still amusing note, I was in the bathroom up at [College] the other day when I overheard two women talking. They were discussing clavicles and other anatomical things, so I assumed they were med students. And just when I was thinking 'it's nice to hear intellectual discussion in a bathroom for once, so much nicer than high school bathrooms', one of the women bursts out.
"I want to kill the people who clean this bathroom! They always put the toilet paper on upside down!"
Sadly, I had no desk, so I was forced to whack my head against the stall door. I'd point out the several points of lunacy inherent within that statement, but I think I'll let you all find them for yourselves.
-Callisto
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no subject
Date: 2004-06-14 01:05 pm (UTC)And heartingasshatemoticon for your mother's line of reasoning.
no subject
Date: 2004-06-14 01:07 pm (UTC)-Callisto
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Date: 2004-06-14 04:30 pm (UTC)